Engagements > Ask The Chief Engagement Officer
Ask Steve Robbins, CEO
(Chief Engagement Officer™)
Is your proposal just a few details short of perfect? Send our expert, Steve, your most pressing questions. From proposals to picking a ring to how much to tip the waiter for hiding the ring in her dessert, Steve has the answers that will help you make those finishing touches!
Questions of the Week
Dear Steve,
I have been dating my boyfriend for almost 9 months now, and we have talked about getting married but not right now, but my concern is that he will be enlisting for the army and will be gone for almost a year. Should I propose to him, or should I just let time tell what will happen?
- Beatriz H.
Steve's answer:
Wow Beatriz, this is a tough decision. I can't imagine all the emotions you must be feeling and I'm sure he's feeling the same. If you are both committed to one another and in love for the long term, then getting engaged is just another step in this great journey. It's one that can have very significant meaning but won't change what already exists for both of you. So I recommend letting him know your feelings while remembering that if your love for each other is true, then engaged or not, all will be okay.
Steve
Dear Steve,
I am going to propose to my girlfriend very soon. We are always talking about how I'd do it but now that it's coming down to it, I'm afraid that what I've planned isn't the best thing. Are there any things to avoid when proposing?
- David C.
Steve's answer:
Hey David. Absolutely there are certain pitfalls to avoid when proposing, but sense you are asking this question, you are already sensitive so let's focus more on doing it right than doing it wrong: 1) Custom-make the engagement based on your best sense of what she would want and be consistent with the things that fit your unique relationship. Is it intimate or attention-getting? Would she prefer private and personal or should it include friends and family? Traditional or more creative? Know what makes sense for her and the two of you as a couple. 2) Make it genuine by telling her exactly how you feel in your heart. Carefully choose your words and look her in the eye. 3) Remember to make this moment special for yourself as well, because it's something you'll both live to tell your loved ones. 4) Consider driving to our store in Arlington for special support, guidance and planning. It's what we do everyday and there are some incredible people who can make a real difference in your plan. Good luck and remember you can't go wrong here. Take a deep breath and just know that everything will be fine; after all you have already found the girl of your dreams. The rest is a cake walk.
Dear Steve,
Can we buy a setting and put a cubic zirconium in the setting until we can afford a diamond? Is that appropriate?
- Robyn L.
Steve's answer:
Hi Robyn. Well, all of us sellers of engagement rings believe in a center Diamond. That said, there's no such thing as "appropriate" or not. If the setting is what counts for you and budget dictates, go for it. There are no rules as long as you both know. Sometimes doing it a little at a time makes it even more meaningful. The key here is that you've found each other. All will come with time, love and working together for shared goals.
Dear Steve,
I will be going to a Jamaica resort for a friend's wedding and need some ideas for a romantic Beach Proposal. I was going to do a private dinner but didn't want to spend an extra $150...please help!! Thanks.
- Ryan M.
Steve's answer:
Ryan, fear not because this is not about a big money plan; it's more about matters of the heart. Lots of possibilities here... a proposal with shells and candles on the sand, a special dinner with wine and hibachi as you cook in the moonlight. A song, (know a friend that can play a special instrument from a safe distance?), or you can play something on the IPOD. The goal is to create an atmosphere that best represents your love for her and your special relationship; be sure to ask the hotel concierge for ideas too. (Even if your budget is zero, often people will want to help just because it's such a joyous occasion and they too can experience a little excitement through you.) Just reach inside yourself, center on her and it will be magical, see? No charge at all. Good luck!!
Dear Steve,
My daughter is marrying a young man from Sweden. His parents do not speak English and we do not speak Swedish. Should I write them a letter welcoming their son into our family, assuming he will translate it for them? Should we call them when he is at their home? He speaks English well.
- Kris K.
Steve's answer:
The universal language is love so anything you do to reach out to them is likely to be welcomed and appreciated. I believe going in the direction you are thinking about is great. If you want another possibility, try visiting a local college and finding out how to transcribe your letter to Swedish. That said, I think the call with son-in-law's help will be sweet and perfect as well as the letter... Congrats!
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Steve Robbins will personally answer your engagement and romance-related questions. Other questions will be forwarded to an expert in the field you are inquiring about.